In my workshops, the two most common areas that women seem to focus on are love and work.Our careers are part of who we are. They can symbolise our ambitions and passions. But, if we are not being authentic – true to ourselves – and feel dissatisfied at work, it is not a positive place to be. Furthermore if we feel helpless and unsure of how to do something about it, work can become demotivating and demoralising.
Confidence and assertion are the keys to getting more of what you want. Here are some simple steps to achieve fulfilment in the workplace.
Firstly, identify the areas you are not happy with:
- Who is expecting or asking too much of you?
- What is the biggest source of stress you have at work?
- What impact are these stresses having on you?
- Who makes you feel uncomfortable?
Then, to get the positivity flowing, list the parts of your job that you love.
- What are you proud of?
- Who and what makes you feel good?
- What are you truly grateful for?
- Who helps and supports you there?
- What parts of your job are really important to you?
You may find the list of things you appreciate is long or the complete opposite. The more the better as this gives you a lift to see that it’s worth sticking around. If you are finding it hard to think of anything you enjoy or are grateful for at work, it is definitely time to assess if your amazing talents are better suited elsewhere.
Finally, be assertive! We can sometimes worry so much about what people will think of us if we don’t behave how they want us to. Although it is important to be professional, we must be true to ourselves and unafraid to speak up about our concerns. If we can do this in an assertive way, everyone around us benefits, we benefit and so does the business.
If our self-esteem is low we can sometimes behave in a way that is passive, aggressive or manipulative. Following these simple principles will help:
- Have honest, open and direct communication. Think about your body language as well as the words you say.
- Be empathetic but place no higher importance on their needs than your own.
- Don’t be afraid to say NO to something you do not feel happy with. Use short, concise explanations.
- Do plan ahead and set the scene. Visualise the person or people responding to you in the way you wish. You will find this really can make a difference to how things go.
- Be persistent. If you are clear and calm about what you want, yet still feel you are not being heard, repeat your point.
Ruth Frances is available for workshops and one-to-one coaching sessions in person or via Skype.
For ‘Authentic Self’ workshops please see www.newauthenticyou.com for details or via email: firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07889 772723 for more information.